The rate of single men looking to date has declined in the United States

Sex and relationships

By Alex Mitchell

March 1, 2023 | 19:04

They are alone, but they don’t mix.

According to new data from the Pew Research Center, 63% of men under 30 are single — up from 51% in 2019.

According to young guys, the main reasons why they avoid coming out and being in a relationship are the isolation of COVID and the high expectations of women.

“Dating now feels more like a job interview. It’s more of a “What can you do for me and where does this go?” said Ian Breslow, a 28-year-old high school teacher who lives in Astoria.

“The ‘getting to know’ period is over and it doesn’t feel so good after getting out of isolation.”

He recalled a recent first date that had gone quite well until she had questioned him on their walk home.

“He literally asked me, ‘Would you rather our kids go to public school or private school?’ This was followed by more extreme questions about marriage. I just started responding with what I knew he hated the most, to leave,” Breslow told The Post.

Experts agree that women certainly want more than ever.

“The big picture [is] that if a woman goes on a date with a man, it’s more than likely not for a casual fling,” Ronald Levant, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron, told The Post.

“Especially when the woman is approaching thirty, [she’s] she is thinking about biology class and wants to start a family,” he added.

Breslow doesn’t want to settle down and get married anytime soon, so he prefers casual relationships.

“The current way of dating makes me want to connect locally, without the stress and constraints,” she says. “Luckily, this part is going very easily… I’m unmotivated to look for anything serious at the moment.”

Andrew Bruno, a 28-year-old nurse from Bellmore, New York, says flirting in the post-Covid era isn’t as fun as it used to be.

“Being outside and being able to approach people in a natural way is not like before the epidemic. People are still much less likely to leave their groups or cliques in a bar,” Bruno said. “They’re certainly less talkative, and that reduces my urge to vent.”

He also said the pandemic has made dating apps more central to meeting people than ever before — and he’s not a fan.

“It’s really not my style. It’s like you need weeks of preconditions to think about, even in everyday things,” said Bruno. “I’d rather take that effort and put it towards my career.”

And, like Breslow, he’s in no rush to get stuck.

“I’m very young too,” said Bruno. “I don’t feel the need to rush, especially when people are not acting as naturally as they were before COVID. Why would I put all this out there for someone who can’t or won’t talk?”

For 25-year-old Queens resident Mike M., his social skills—not those of the opposite sex—still struggle with a bad case of a long illness from COVID.

“I definitely can’t walk into a room and talk to someone I care about [in] as I used to know. I feel like my exit has withered,” Mike, who withheld his last name out of embarrassment, told The Post.

In addition, he has less sex than before the epidemic.

“I definitely go online to care more about my desires than people,” Mike admitted.

She feels like she lost two prime years in her early twenties of being able to date and have fun without worrying about a serious relationship.

Now he’s under pressure to find a long-term commitment, but he can’t commit.

“I also feel like I’m caught between two worlds,” he said. “I ended up crashing and I haven’t experienced any of that lately.”