A single woman has spoken out after being called ‘fat’ and told to ‘lose weight’ to a date she initially thought was ‘charming’.
The Melbourne woman met a man on a dating app who “seemed nice” and “ticked all the boxes”, so the two met in person.
The date went well and the pair “talked for hours”, but she refused to go back to his house for “coffee” afterwards.
“I admit, I was tempted, but in the end I decided to abstain. He claimed he was 100 percent fine with that and asked when we could see each other next. I went home thinking it was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on! said the woman.
But the next morning, the woman received a humiliating text message from the man, who commented on her weight and said she could “redeem herself” if she started working out with a personal trainer six days a week and followed a “strict diet”.
The Melbourne woman met the man on a dating app who “seemed nice” and “ticked all the boxes”. But the morning after the date, she received a humiliating text message (stock image)
The woman shared the text with the ‘Bad Dates of Melbourne’ Facebook page
Sharing the text with the ‘Bad Dates of Melbourne’ Facebook page, the message read: ‘Hey! I think you are lovely and I will definitely see you in the future. However, in order to get there, I feel like I have to deal with something.
“Although you have a beautiful face, you are physically much bigger than any girl I would let myself date. I’d even say she’s fat.
“The only reason you’re getting a second chance is because your personality is good enough to see me through it at first.”
The man listed his proposals and said he expected “immediate action to redeem himself” if they were to see him a second time.
“Until that happens, you will no longer be with me in public!” My suggestion is PT 5-6 times a week and a strict diet,” the message reads.
He also called her that she didn’t go home with him that night.
“You have to let go of your old views on sexuality. The fact that you didn’t let me enjoy myself physically last night was disappointing — and I would expect more from a woman who is single in her late 20s,” he wrote.
“I sincerely hope you take these suggestions to heart.” If not for my sake, then selling your own well-being. This could be the beginning of the rest of our lives together.
The Narcissist Warning Signs: Are You Dating Someone With NPD?
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance.
They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder are unable to understand or care about other people’s feelings. However, behind this mask of extreme self-confidence, they are not sure of their self-esteem and are easily upset by even the slightest criticism.
The symptoms and severity of narcissistic personality disorder can vary. People with the disease can:
He has an unreasonably high self-importance and demands constant, exaggerated admiration.
They feel they deserve privileges and special treatment.
He expects to be recognized as excellent even without performance.
Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
Be preoccupied with fantasizing about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate.
Believe that they are superior to others and can only spend time with or understand equally special people.
Be critical and look down on people who you think are not important.
Expect special favors and expect others to do what they want without being asked.
Take advantage of others to get what they want.
Unable or unwilling to recognize the needs and feelings of others.
Envy others and believe that others envy them.
Act arrogant, brag a lot and appear cocky.
Insist on having the best of everything – like the best car or office.
Source: Mayo Clinic
After that, a second date could not be arranged, and she was left to second-guess herself about her appearance.
“He likes to check in every now and then with a spam message. I have since managed to date, but not without experiencing anxiety at the thought of receiving such ‘feedback’ again,” she wrote.
Hundreds of women flooded the comments with kind words of support for the single woman, with many claiming he was a ‘walking red flag’.
“I literally read this with my mouth open.” AUDACITY! wrote a woman.
“This is the WORST date I have ever heard of. The guy has so many red flags, he’s basically wrapped in a giant red tarp,” said another.
“This is why Tinder needs a Trip Advisor-type rating system. I’m so sorry, added a third.
Another said: “My mind just doesn’t understand why some people think they are above others. If you don’t like someone that’s fine.. not everyone likes everyone but you pretend to like them and then you have the guts to send them away?
‘I am very sorry for this It happened to you, I’m sure you’re glad he showed his true colors early, but understand how hard it must have been.
The administrator behind the Facebook page also wrote: “Consider how directive and strategic this message is. I think it has been sent several times. This has nothing to do with our wonderful OP (original poster). Down with these low self-esteem “dating strategies”. Vom.