Man wonders if he’s the jerk after telling his girlfriend not to take care of her daughter’s looks

As an adult, the dating world is incredibly difficult: finding time to date, trying to get to know the person while looking for red flags and trying to understand if they are compatible. If you’re a single parent, it’s even harder. Your new partner and child should be at least somewhat compatible so that they don’t fight each other on a daily basis.

Reddit user u/throwwra__fix399 details his story, wondering if he’s a jerk for telling his girlfriend not to order his daughter around.

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As a single parent, finding love is harder than you think because the person has to be perfect for you and your children

Image source: Timur Weber (not the real image)

A dad on Reddit wanted to know if he’s a jerk for not letting his girlfriend control his daughter’s appearance

Image credits: u/throwwra__fix399

Her girlfriend and daughter got along quite well until OP came back from a trip and her daughter was forced to wash off her “provocative” makeup before going out.

Image credits: u/throwwra__fix399

Just 4 days after her first post, OP came back with an update, although she wasn’t happy

Image credits: ROMAN ODINTSOV (not the real image)

Turns out she washed her makeup off with OP’s daughter because she looked like a sl*t.

Image credits: u/throwwra__fix399

OP was having none of it and told him to leave her house, which he did later that night

Image credits: u/throwwra__fix399

The father clarifies in the comments that he does not hang out with his daughter, who dresses the way she wants

OP starts the story by saying that he and his current girlfriend have been together for three years and they moved in six months ago. She mentions that she is a widow and a single parent and wanted to make sure their relationship was serious before moving in with her and her daughter.

This proved to be a success, as he says they “generally get along pretty well”. She informed her friend that she was not looking for a stepmother, as her daughter was old enough to not need a new mother figure in her life. He later clarified that his daughter is 16 years old.

The trouble in the story starts when OP was away on a camping trip for two days and his girlfriend stayed home with her daughter. He gave his daughter his blessing to go to a party while he was gone, but when he came back, she told him that her girlfriend had ordered him there while he was away. She was told to “wash off her make-up” and put on “less provocative” make-up before going out.

OP mentions that he got mad at his girlfriend. He told her that “you mustn’t refuse my daughter,” especially if she had allowed him before. This caused a huge fight, after which the girlfriend and father barely spoke.

Coming back with an update 4 days later, the OP starts by saying she’s not happy. The day after his first post, he tried to have a serious discussion about boundaries and his relationship with his girlfriend. The argument got pretty heated and OP says that the girlfriend revealed why she told her daughter to wash off the makeup.

According to the girlfriend, he looked like a “sl*t”. The father was having none of that and told her to pack her bags. He left later that night and it looked like they were breaking up when the OP said, “I’m going to have to be a single dad for a little while longer.” They haven’t spoken at all since he moved, and the girlfriend said she’ll be picking up his stuff next week.

Image source: Karolina Grabowska (not the real image)

If you’re a single parent, especially a single dad hoping to one day find love again — you’re not alone, says DAD.info. They want dads to find love by talking about the whole process.

The biggest practical problem for single parents looking for a relationship is lack of time. It’s hard enough to find time to be in the dating world without raising kids. Another important thing to consider is that it is much more difficult to find the “perfect” person because you have to be perfect for at least two people – you and your child.

You can find love by enduring it, and Men’sHealth has plenty of tips for any dad who might be looking. The start is to ease into the dating world, as you need time for your child, yourself, and everything else that requires it. Plus, your kids need to know about it, too. They need to know that you need someone to share your interests with and have fun with.

You need to understand what kind of person you are looking for and find him. They also need to know that your children are your priority no matter what, and they need to feel good about it. You shouldn’t tell your children too much about potential partners, but you can suggest that they meet them. Of course, you should prioritize your children and make sure that you only see them when they are comfortable.

Finally, one important thing to avoid is having your children become attached to someone and have someone leave your life. This can make children pessimistic and cynical about relationships, and you certainly don’t want that to happen to your little ones.

The original post collected more than 15,000 positive votes and more than 4,000 comments. OP also stated in the comments that she doesn’t believe in shaming people for the way they dress and is perfectly fine with her daughter expressing herself through her appearance. What do you think of the story? What would you have done? Let us know in the comments!

Many commenters praised him for his actions and called him a great father, calling out his ex for overstepping his bounds

Image credit: Mauricio Mascaro (not the actual image)