Date one person at a time? Time to throw more into the mix, writes JANA HOCKING
By Jana Hocking for Daily Mail Australia
March 4, 2023 9:27 PM, Updated March 4, 2023 9:27 PM
- According to Jana Hocking, everyone should date more people
- You no longer need to share that they are not the only one
- “You can test who you have the best chemistry with”
I was on a rampage here, even though in life I thought everyone was aware of the one big change in the dating game that isn’t talked about but is very widely accepted.
Imagine my surprise when I have dinner with my family on my mother’s birthday and she is shocked, appalled and a bit horrified as my siblings and I discussed it very casually.
Now, full disclosure, having raised a daughter who recently writes a sometimes angry dating column, it takes a lot to shock my mother (even if she swears black and blue, she knows she keeps reading my column because she’s “too honest “).
But we were here for dinner and it looked like we were promoting something stupid.
What we were talking about was the dilemma of one of our friends.
After being divorced a year ago, she enthusiastically jumped into the apps and went up a storm.
We’re talking at least three dates a week.
However, he had recently discovered that he really liked one of the women he had been on a casual date with, and was wondering how to convey this to the others. He wanted to let them know that he couldn’t see them anymore because he had decided to get serious with this lucky lady and he wanted to know if it was okay to do it via text or if he should call them.
Well, it wasn’t the whole text or call dilemma in this scenario, although on a side note, I’d say a text always beats a phone call (especially if it’s casual). It’s just a lot less awkward.
No, no, it wasn’t that that bothered my mother, it was that he was dating several women at the same time. Umm…yeah…everyone is.
Jana Hocking: Why dating multiple people at once is a wonderful idea
1. You can test who you have the best chemistry with
2. It’s a numbers game! Just because your heart aches for someone doesn’t mean they do too. So why not throw yourself into a lot of dating and find your perfect match
3. You’re less likely to settle down. You know the feeling, you’re ready to move in, maybe the months are getting colder and you’re bringing anyone to snuggle up with at night. No, the options mean you won’t settle for Tom, Dick, or Harry
4. You don’t just focus on one poor guy and put all your energy into turning them into the partner of your dreams. There are many distractions that prevent you from getting a little overexcited and thirsty. You don’t have to wait by the phone for the next message, you’re busy
5. Enjoy the wonderful feeling when you and your casual date decide not to meet other people and jump off the apps. You are the chosen one. A winning chicken dinner
This trend is no longer associated with love rats, no. In fact, it is widely accepted and encouraged. In fact, I would go so far as to ethically say that everyone is non-monogamous on their first one to five dates.
Let’s face it, we all chat with multiple people at once on dating apps. Having coffee with one, maybe a drink after work with another, and if you’re particularly successful in apps, you could even fit in a brisk Sunday walk with another.
Very very normal, very very common.
My mom’s reaction was so extreme it got me thinking… are there people out there who still date the old fashioned way? I decided to derive a theory from a guy I went on a first date with this week.
I explained my mom’s reaction to learning that people date multiple people at the same time, and she agreed straight away, telling me that she had been on a Facetime date the night before our first date.
was i nervous No way. I was surprised, not at all. I think it’s safe to assume that anyone you go on a date with will most likely chat with other people.
But you see, it wasn’t always like that, so I can understand why people who are new to the dating scene might find it rather confronting after being in a relationship for a long time.
In the 80s, 90s, and maybe even the 2000s, most people dated one person at a time. One date can lead to two, two to three, and then you start to think a little more seriously about where the relationship is going. If you weren’t feeling it, you’d cut them off and date someone. Just repeat the cycle until you are settled with your “forever person”.
Now that seems like such a good waste of time. I say put yourself out there, meet lots of interesting people, and see who you end up with.
People live with the times! This date isn’t waiting at the station, and you have to be in it to win it.