Date diaries: A movie date gone awry. We broke up after a week

Tia is 25 years old, works with children’s programming and lives with friends in the city center. Her friends described her as “always having a good time; full of sass and energy; faithful.” In her free time, Tia likes to “watch Netflix, go camping or hiking, hang out on the Internet, hang out with my friends, clean and tidy the apartment, and cook new recipes.” Tia says the qualities she likes in a guy are: “respectful, funny, mature , nice to everyone, logical, masculine, athletic and reliable”. Tia met Kiefer through friends.

Kiefer and I were friends, then we dated, then we were officially together for a year before we broke up. After that we remained friends and still spend a lot of time together. It was comfortable. We still had feelings for each other, but I think we just got used to spending time together. We officially got back together, but we never resolved the things that caused us to break up.

At least for me, part of the problem was that Kiefer let me do all the work in our relationship. He had a general “doesn’t care what we do” attitude, which meant I did all the planning. To me, “not caring” means “not caring” and making no effort.

A movie opened that we were both very excited about. I bought us tickets. We decided to go all out because the film was part of a franchise that was very important to both of us. I asked Kiefer to decide on a restaurant and make reservations if necessary so we could have a proper date night, which we almost never did.

All you had to do was choose a restaurant of your choice near the cinema complex, which is surrounded by restaurants. Apparently, this task was too much for him and his loose manners, so he did not complete it. On the day of our date, I asked her where we were going so I knew I needed to look good, and she said she “didn’t care” where we ate before the movie.

I felt my heart sink. I usually take things like this in stride and do it on my own, but I backed off and told him to decide that it wasn’t fair for me to do everything. He said he really didn’t care and just wanted to have a good night with me. He didn’t understand that I was upset about it. I told him that caring was not the point and left it at that. Later he texted me that he had made a reservation at one of the restaurants, but by then I was even more freaked out.

By dinner I felt better and we had a great time. I was very excited about the movie. I thanked him for making a reservation at the restaurant and he said, “You’re welcome” and joked about how he “treated me” to a nice date even though we always split the bill and I went ahead and got the tickets without him having to ask. For some reason saying that pushed me over the edge.

By the time we left dinner, I was completely over it. Everything he said rubbed me the wrong way and I wasn’t afraid to let him know. I knew I was wrong to snap at him, but I didn’t care, I was over the conversation after he bragged about the reservation.

I tried to have fun during the movie, but I couldn’t. I felt a lot of irritation and realized that I was really mad at Kiefer and it only came out because of the date that was supposed to be so much fun. I wondered what else I was doing with it and why it was acceptable to me. A week after that, we broke up for good.

Tia rates her date (out of 10): 3

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