COLUMN: Dating apps are not the key to a successful long-term relationship

by James · March 13, 2023

If you’re reading this article, you’ve probably downloaded Tinder, used Tinder, or know someone who uses Tinder. Online dating is a growing trend on college campuses, replacing traditional dating and increasing the risk of meeting dangerous people. According to a survey by Statista, nearly 50% of young adults use a dating site, and according to a study by Pews Research, 48% of 18- to 29-year-olds have used a dating app. What does this say about millennials and Gen Zers?

Online dating makes the vital art of ‘love at first sight’ more difficult for us. Before the internet and advanced technologies, people had no choice but to walk to each other or connect through friends and relatives. If people didn’t go to strangers to get to know each other, the likelihood of meeting the same person again is very low. Now we prefer to flip through biographies that barely cover anything and do not include the true personalities of the human soul. One tool that helps with this is right under our noses, Mizmissedconnections!

An Instagram page called Mizmissedconnections was created to allow MU students to send anonymous messages to people around campus. Since creating the account, he has followed more than 7,000 people. The messages reached residents in the Columbia, Blue Springs, Kansas City and Dallas areas. Reactions to the account are generally positive and people like to see themselves mentioned. Even though it is not a dating app, it makes the concepts of online dating service easy. Those mentioned can reply to a post and contact the sender of the message.

Without this method of anonymous communication, would there be a personal conversation between these people?

Many posted messages go unanswered because the recipients don’t use Instagram, don’t know the account, or are simply victims of the “spotlight effect.” This is a phenomenon in which people tend to overestimate how much others notice certain aspects of their appearance or behavior.

As time has progressed, dating apps have become the self-monitoring tool for the average college freshman with self-esteem issues. Moving to a large college campus can be difficult, and young minds in transition fall prey to the wonders of the dating circuit. Jumping into this dating pool can be scary, and online dating offers an easier channel to adapt to the social sphere. However, dating apps are extremely superficial and in no way meet the basic checklists for meeting someone.

University student Albertine Byemba shared her thoughts on Tinder.

“I was on and off Tinder for about a year. I met a person romantically, but the thought of saying I met them on a dating app threw me off,” Byemba said. “Online dating takes away from creating meaningful relationships in real life. No one wants to meet people outside because they can just swipe on Tinder.”

Dating apps also maintain the goal of relationship culture. “Connecting” and university experience are usually synonymous.

While this may be the intention of some people on these platforms, it completely destroys the idea of finding a long-term partner for those interested. It creates doubts and further weakens the inclination towards the idea of love.

Online dating services act as a sex market for users. They get the chance to scroll through shortlisted candidates for potential one-night stands.

“Most people who are successful on Tinder have casual sex and hookups,” says Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor at NTNU’s Department of Psychology.

This solidifies the new face of online dating platforms and reaffirms its unintended purpose.

Technology has had a significant impact on dating today, compared to the past when most people first met in person through friends, family, parties, and so on. This is now also reflected in the quality of relationships. Relationships lack real depth and people are less honest about their intentions. They are willing to hide behind a screen and say what they want because they believe they cannot suffer the consequences of their words. It’s time to realize that online dating does more harm than good.

Edited by Molly Gibbs | [email protected]
Copy edited by Grace Knight and Sterling Sewell