6 Signs It’s Okay to Forgive Your Ex and Get Back | Brad Browning
Breakups can come in all shapes and sizes and for many different reasons. They are often messy, heartbreaking affairs that make us tie a tub of ice cream to bed, or joyous occasions that make us want to celebrate.
Every now and then a couple calls it quits, only to realize they’ve made a huge mistake. But what happens next? They broke up for a reason, so why would they give their relationship another chance? Sometimes it takes two people apart to realize how much they need each other.
If you’re debating whether or not you should give your relationship another shot, here are six reasons to consider before getting back together.
6 Signs You Need to Forgive Your Ex and Get Back Together
1. You had time apart.
The first few days after a breakup are uncomfortable. In addition to returning your belongings and cutting ties with your ex, you’ll also be faced with answering unsolicited questions from friends and family. During this time and in the weeks that follow, it’s normal to wonder if breaking up was the right thing to do.
If you decide to rebuild your relationship with your ex, give them time and space first. Avoid communicating with your ex for about a month before reconnecting. This gives them time to miss you and a chance to let go of their negative feelings towards you.
If you still find your life empty without your ex after a while, let them know you’re thinking of them. Now that emotions have settled, it’s possible that you can work together to build a new relationship.
2. Change is possible.
Regardless of who broke up with whom, there was a reason why your relationship ended. Now is the time to think about these reasons and the changes you need to make your new relationship work.
Ask yourself if the changes you need are possible, and more importantly, if they make sense. For example, let’s say you broke up because you wanted your ex to spend less time at the bar and more time with you. Asking for a change is a reasonable request.
However, it is unreasonable to ask them to move back to your city if you broke up because your ex left to pursue his career. Think about why your love didn’t last, and if it’s just a few changes, it’s worth going for round two and restarting the relationship.
3. Your friends and family approve.
Your loved ones only want what’s best for you, so if your relationship was unhealthy, they must have noticed while you were together. If you ask them if they think you should get back with your ex, they will definitely want to share their opinion.
If they say that your relationship is best left in the past, you might want to take their advice. On the other hand, if they seem enthusiastic and supportive of you trying to rekindle your relationship, that’s a good sign that starting over is a great idea.
4. You want the same ones.
As you mature, you and your interests and priorities change. This means that what was important to you before may not be what you want now.
All hope is not lost if you and your ex broke up because you wanted something different. After a breakup, it’s easy to see the bigger picture and think about your desires and needs.
For example, the ex-boyfriend who was terrified of marriage may now realize that he wants to settle down with someone, or the ex-girlfriend who was focused on her master’s degree has achieved that goal and wants to move on to other things. .
If you and your ex broke up because you thought you wanted different things, but now you want the same thing, then a reunion is a good idea.
5. You felt loved when you were together.
It’s often easy to look back on a relationship and see only the good. By doing so, you ignore the reasons for your breakup.
If you’re thinking about getting back together with your ex, be honest with yourself and look at the big picture. Were you really happy in your relationship? Did your ex make you feel appreciated and loved? Do you regret breaking up? Do you still love them? If you answered yes to these questions, it’s worth another try.
Before you begin to mend your relationship, talk to your ex about the issues that caused you to break up. This kind of chat allows you to work out problems beforehand and can tell you a lot about whether another relationship can work together.
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6. You are ready to forgive.
Breakups tend to bring out the worst in us and are usually filled with unkind words, hurt feelings, and regret.
If you are considering getting back together with your ex, it is crucial that you first forgive each other for things you have said or done in the past. Bottling up past arguments or feelings of resentment will not be a successful second shot at your relationship. Instead, you both need to start with a clean slate.
Forgiving someone you love is hard and takes time. But as hard as it is, if you want to rebuild your relationship and start a new chapter with your ex, you have to let go of the past first.
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and expert from Vancouver, Canada with over 10 years of experience working with couples to improve and improve relationships.