5 Questions to Ask a Dating App Before You Meet IRL, According to Dating Coaches

5 Questions to Ask a Dating App Before You Meet IRL, According to Dating Coaches

  • Dating apps offer almost endless opportunities to meet other singles, but you shouldn’t go out with just anyone, experts say.
  • Daters and matchmakers told Insider that for safety and compatibility, they ask questions about matches before agreeing to meet in real life.

Daters hook up with hopeful singles in no time, but not every match is first date worthy.

Experts say there are a few questions you should ask before agreeing to meet in person.

“It’s important to do some level of vetting and due diligence for your own safety, but also so you don’t waste your time,” matchmaker Thalia Ouimet, who works with clients in New York and Miami, told Insider.

Ouimet, along with daters Amy Nobile and Sara Tick, shared the safety and compatibility questions they always recommend to their clients before booking a first date.

What is your last name?

Dating apps work—even for experts like dating coach Amy Nobile, who met her current partner on one. Safety should always come first when using one, Nobile said.

A good place to start is to check if the date matches their profile, Nobile said. She suggested asking your potential date for their last name, then Google it before giving your phone number. When you do that, expect to be asked the same thing, Nobile said.

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There are additional safety measures you can take before and during your first date to avoid cheating or deception, Ouimet said. She suggested finding your partner on LinkedIn to verify their age and occupation.

If you can’t find them on any social media platform, you might want to cancel the date, Ouimet said.

If you do decide to meet up, Ouimet suggested telling your loved ones when and where your date will be, and meeting in a public place instead of asking them to meet you at home.

If you had 24 hours to do anything, what would you do?

Sara Tick, a licensed therapist and men’s dating coach, said playful but specific questions can reveal a match’s values ​​and provide insight into compatibility.

This question requires agreement to think through their priorities while also taking into account their imaginations, Tick said.

“Would they spend the day with family or friends? Would they get on a plane and go to an exotic destination? Regardless of how they answer, it’s going to open up an interesting conversation,” he said.

What have you been up to lately?

Tick ​​said this question could also provide information about the match’s lifestyle.

Since lifestyle is an important aspect of compatibility, you can assess whether your lives are intertwined or clashing.

“People don’t have to enjoy the same activities to be compatible partners, but this question can help you weed out people who have completely different values ​​and priorities than you,” Tick said.

If your partner says they love you to stay active and hit the gym for a few hours every day, but if you’re a stay-at-home person who spends most of your free time reading, they might not be the best for you.

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Can we set up a pre-date phone or video call?

Ouimet says it’s useful to get a mood check in addition to flirty messages exchanged within the app.

She tells her clients to ask for a phone call before the first date so she can better understand your tone, sense of humor and personality.

“You’d be surprised how many people on a standard 10-minute phone call don’t pass the mood check because of their voice, lack of laughter or lack of optimism,” Ouimet said.

What’s a local activity you’ve always wanted to try?

If initial conversations with the match go well, Tick suggested throwing that issue into the mix. He said it can help you transition from talking to dating.

“Why don’t you plan a day to go together and be tourists in your own town? Even if there’s no love match, at least you’ll be doing something fun to tick off your adventure list,” Tick said.

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